> Go through the front door, idiot

It’s locked, dumpass.

 You’re not entirely sure why you even tried going in this way. You don’t recall a single time in the 7 sweeps of your life that you’ve ever been able to open this door. You imagine that the previous owner probably took the key with them when they moved out.

Yeah, you don’t own this house. You just kind of…. found it a few years back and have been living here ever since, after something rather awful brought your own house to its foundations. Awful things tend to happen to you a lot, its like you’ve got NONE OF THE LUCK. You can of course blame these awful happenstances on THEM what with their constant throwing of RED HOT PROVERBIAL IRONS at you.

 You’re not quite sure why you called it that, but you quickly shake off the thought. You have very important things to do right now, such as finding a way into your house.

It’s way too light outside for you to be roaming around. What are you even doing out?

 Oh yeah, you were visiting your “b3st moirail 63V3R” for an emergency feelings jam. You’re still not entirely sure what his problem was, something to do with an OBVIOUS LIE he was told. Your moirail has a lot of feelings and woes but you still think he’s pretty great as far as moirails go. You’re just lucky that no diurnal undead gave you any trouble on the way back home.

 And look, there’s your home right there, better get in quick. how are you going to go about entering your house?

> Go through the front door, idiot