> Go through the front door, idiot
It’s locked, dumpass.
You’re not entirely sure why you even tried going in this way. You don’t recall a single time in the 7 sweeps of your life that you’ve ever been able to open this door. You imagine that the previous owner probably took the key with them when they moved out.
Yeah, you don’t own this house. You just kind of…. found it a few years back and have been living here ever since, after something rather awful brought your own house to its foundations. Awful things tend to happen to you a lot, its like you’ve got NONE OF THE LUCK. You can of course blame these awful happenstances on THEM what with their constant throwing of RED HOT PROVERBIAL IRONS at you.
You’re not quite sure why you called it that, but you quickly shake off the thought. You have very important things to do right now, such as finding a way into your house.